How do you measure a year? It is amazing when you journey though such an event as this; all the thoughts that you think. I was at the county fair this weekend and saw the moms pushing strollers, the small children learning that the cows say moo and I was envious of them. Strange because I too was in this position. I was pushing the stroller and teaching the little ones that the cows say moo. Did I really take the time to enjoy it and really be in the moment…time sure passes by quickly. That led me to think of this song that I posted above Seasons of Love. 525,600 minutes, that is how many minutes are in a a year. Use your minutes wisely, be where you are and truly enjoy the moments. I know that I am trying to.
I start chemo on Thursday. It will be for two week and one week off two round of this then an evaluation of the results. I fear this one will really kick my ass. It will be a chemo cocktail of (if I have my notes correct) Cisplatin, Cetuxinab & Gencitabine.
To be honest I have not researched these. Not that I don’t care but I have to put my faith in the medical staff that they know what they are doing and what treatments are the best. I can research but that will not change the course of treatment or the results so in my thought process I am wasting precious minutes that I could be doing something else. Maybe I am a little bit sticking my head in the sand. That is okay with me too.
On Monday I woke up with blurred vision in my right eye. Strange because the tumor is on the left and my left eye is lazy due to the pressure on the nerves. So today I had to get an MRI. Scary/nerve wracking waiting for the results, The recults came in that it is not cancer,,whoop whoop! They have no clue of what it is though. So hopefully it is a fluke thing and it will go away on its own.
Thank you for reading this, to all that have expressed your concern, prayers and thoughts. All that have helped out and those that have made meals. It is heartwarming to know I have a support group that is so large! Especially to Chad who has been rock solid. I am one lucky lady.